D.O.G.

A while ago, while reading a novel by Michael Crichton, I came across the mention of the DOG concept, which stands for “delay of gratification”. In its essence, it talks about the preference for a later, possibly even bigger reward, over the smaller but more immediate one. The book in question illustrates this principle on an example of a scientist who may dedicate his or her whole life to science, solely motivated by the science itself, without much thinking about the more tangible rewards in the form of money and social recognition, though their work may possibly lead to some important breakthrough that would potentially benefit the whole humanity.

If scientists rate especially high on the DOG concept, then artists can literally reach the stars. Despite the frequently emphasized importance of art and culture, these are, unfortunately, very often a luxury that many people tend to overlook, especially in these modern and hectic times, as they can’t find enough time in their (too) busy lives to truly appreciate art. This is not only a more recent occurrence. The history is full of artists who haven’t received the recognition they deserve for their dedication to art, at least not in their lifetime.

Looking back at my life and work so far, I couldn’t help pondering on this. Since I was a child, I devoted myself to music, although my path was certainly not a typical nor traditional one. Despite the formal education in completely different areas and flimsy support from the surrounding people, I never stopped thinking and believing that music is the very best of me. I’ve spent the past thirty years or so nurturing my talent and learning new skills. During the last decade, creative work became a centerpiece, as I began developing myself as a composer as well, rather than only as a multi-instrumentalist and musician in general.

While the music itself and the sheer joy of creativity were what kept me going all these years, at the same time I’m still hoping for some more mundane fruits of my labor. Not wanting to sound pathetic, but I’ve literally and consciously sacrificed everything for music, including many things that most people take for granted. All this is for the ability to live a somewhat unconventional life, staying well clear of typical day jobs, and being a career slave. At the same time, I’ve always hoped that my lifelong dedication to music and idealism will be rewarded one day. Though I’ve somehow managed to make ends meet only with music for a number of years now, I’m still patiently waiting for this to happen.

For a really long time, I firmly believed that talent, hard work, and passion are all that matters, but unfortunately, I’m wrong. Nowadays, music is obviously just another business with all the usual corporate rules applying. It’s all about connections, formal recognitions, nepotism, and money. Ironically, talent, passion, personality, even skills and knowledge, all seem to be less important in order to succeed, at least in the sense that most people perceive success. And if this is the price of it, I’d rather stay unsuccessful while trying to succeed under my own terms.

So what advice would I give to someone in my shoes? Unfortunately, no great wisdom here. The only solution is to keep going - day by day, your way - and under no circumstances, try comparing yourself with others, them being “successful” or not. And finally, never stop hoping, however futile this may look. One can only hope that gratification will finally arrive someday.