Perpetual competition: is there any escape?

For as long as I can remember, I was never a competing type. This is likely the reason for my almost complete indifference toward sports - particularly football, handball, basketball, etc. If you ask me, I can easily sleep through the next world championship. But this was generally my preferred style and way of life. I never saw myself in a modern corporate world where you have to prove yourself to someone every day, hour, and moment. I’ve always felt that music and art are some of the rare human activities in which a person can afford a greater measure of freedom and relaxation. To be simply who you are. Where you can find a place under the sun even with these conditions.

Unfortunately, from a personal experience so far while threading on this thorny and uncertain path, I sadly must confirm that in music, especially these days, there is no much escape from constant struggle with some form of competition, trends, as well as with those who are in a more favorable position. This may include being a member of certain circles, financial abilities, or their presence in the media. Despite all that, I dislike comparing myself with others and I try to make peace with being who I am. I expect the same from my peers. Take it or leave it.

In the last few years, in my usual and at a somewhat leisurely pace, I’m trying to capitalize on my musical, especially compositional work, that is a result of many years of love, devotion, and effort, but also renunciation, self-sacrificing, and dealing with non-understanding and uncooperative surroundings. My modest efforts in that regard may seem too small and not aggressive enough for the times we’re living in. There is probably a lot of truth to this, but a person simply cannot be who he or she isn’t or cannot afford to be. For example, at the moment, I’m not in a position to hire someone who could help me deal with the matters of marketing and promotion - something I’m not very keen on and not willing to do by myself. I’m also unable to invest in recording quality and attractive video materials that would accompany my music, though it's obvious how important visual media are these days. I’m a discreet and withdrawn person by nature who deeply appreciates privacy, so I try to avoid social networking as much as possible. Furthermore, I’m not one of those who are shamelessly elbowing their way in or pulling the others by the sleeves for the sake of their benefit, be this in a real or virtual world.

Taking everything said into account, the only principle I tend to follow regularly in my life and work is identical to the name of one of my finished album materials: Laissez-faire. In other words: free-flowing!