Impostor syndrome

Countless texts were written about the importance of self confidence. This subject is nowadays more important than ever before. The Internet is creating an enormous pressure everyday by projecting some idealized image of what it means to be a successful individual. This mostly assumes earning a lot of money and receiving formal recognition for your work. I find success to be a relative thing, largely dependant on luck and favorable circumstances that sadly don’t favor everyone. But even to those who manage to lift themselves from cliches and stereotypes isn’t easy these days, thanks to the Internet that constantly bombards you with stories of someone else’s success. This can potentially be very harmful, similar as online checking of what some symptoms that bother you may potentially indicate.

A big problem is a so-called impostor syndrome. According to one definition, this is described as a personal feeling of doubt in your own qualities and achievements comparing to others, even when there is a proof that shows otherwise. This can be devastating for every person, especially us who want to be artists and creatives. The path to success is much more difficult and uncertain here and most often (unfortunately) isn’t directly related to one’s talent, potential, and quality.

I have devoted my life to music and creativity despite formal education is completely opposite areas. Although I’m mostly making the ends meet and don’t receive big formal recognitions, I have never doubted my talent and knowledge that I patiently build since early age. I’m very proud of what I achieved so far, despite mostly unfavorable circumstances. Sill, I must admit to feel a certain sting when I read about someone else’s success in these waters. Especially with the fact that these are frequently ruled by elitism and nepotism.

Due to circumstances, I lack certain formal points that profession mostly expects and appreciates, such as academic background, family heritage, or the ability to move around in elite music circles. This all may seem somewhat relative these days thanks to the Internet, but these traits still bring a significant edge to those who have them. Unfortunately it was always like that, though there are examples of gifted artists who still made it under their own terms. But these times seem to be long gone. This is a time of conformisim, which certainly isn’t to my benefit.

To tell that I’m highly self-confident would be an overstatement. But when talking about my musical work, things are somewhat different. Although much is still ahead of me, I’m well aware of my potential even if the others are not, let alone some music scene or industry. I did manage to present my work online to some degree and have, more or less directly received praise from numerous professionals and connoisseurs from around the world. Furthermore, I’m highly listened of quality music, particularly in the styles I’m myself interested in. So I’m quite capable to objectively judge what I’m capable of. If by some chance I’m to find myself in the company of some music legend, I could still held my head high. But the true greats know how to recognize and appreciate a true talent and passion toward creativity.

I have recently watched a fragment from a movie about a gifted young chef from India who came to England to find his luck. In one scene, the young man is talking to some official. He asks him about his profession and the young man says that he is a chef. When he’s asked about his qualifications, the young man replies that he was taught to cook by his mother who also learned him to appreciate and cherish each ingredient. The official reacted to this with a smirk, so the young Indian offered him a samosa that he prepared himself as a proof of his qualifications. Eventually, if I’m not mistaken, the young chef even got a Michelin star.

So what to do if you’re particularly good at something and still not receiving a deserved praise? You push on and try to ignore the success stories of others as much as possible. Perhaps it’s a bit corny to say that you simply must continue to hope and believe, as this can be easily shaken by circumstances. But keep loving yourself and things you like to do, and try to be what you want to be.